Let's suggest: 67/ Let's have a break: 13

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Let's suggest: 67/ Let's have a break: 13
Message de here4u posté le 31-07-2024 à 22:32:10 (S | E | F)
Hello dears,

This is an easy exercise that everyone can do.

Toujours en pause sur l’ exercice d’EXPRESSION Let's Suggest tel qu’il était à l'origine…
C'est à nouveau la " nouvelle formule ", surtout que les vacances sont là, maintenant... Toujours les vacances pour certains, enfin les vacances pour d'autres et les Jeux pour tous ceux qui le veulent ! J'espère que vous aurez néanmoins le temps de nous écrire quelques lignes...
Certains m’avaient dit être gênés d’exprimer des idées personnelles (surtout qu’ils avaient l’impression – souvent fausse – de les exprimer maladroitement.) Cependant, je ne vous demande pas de " raconter votre vie " si vous ne le désirez pas... Je souhaite juste vous voir vous exprimer sur tout sujet aussi " librement " que possible.
De plus, je pense que vous aurez maintenant compris que pour moi, toute expression, même maladroite, est intéressante et a de la valeur. Elle nous stimule tous à " trouver mieux " !

Voici les questions auxquelles vous pouvez répondre.

1.‘Too little, too late’: imagine a situation to fit this phrase.

2. ‘There’s no place like home’. Comment.

3. What is your favourite song? Why?

4. Are you watching the Olympic games? What sport do you prefer to follow?

Vous pouvez choisir 1 ou 2 questions au choix – en notant bien les références - et développer celle(s) que vous voulez, jusqu’à atteindre en tout un maximum d’environ 150 mots.

Envoyez-moi vos réponses en mp et je publierai une série que vous 'corrigerez' (en bleu d’abord pendant deux jours) puis en vert… et je publierai ensuite la deuxième série... (sans changements donc ! ) Vous gagnez de la liberté (celle de ne pas parler d'un ou plusieurs sujets, ceux qui ne vous " inspirent pas "... Vous écrivez la longueur que vous voulez, vous pouvez choisir d'inventer, de plaisanter, ou de répondre avec sérieux... Nous vous suivrons !

Cet exercice sera pour vous un ou en fonction de la qualité de vos écrits et des difficultés (surmontées) dans la prestation...
Cet exercice sera corrigé (j'espère !) le mardi 13 août 2024 ! Go for it! with THE FORCE.

Réponse : Let's suggest: 67/ Let's have a break: 13 de here4u, postée le 01-08-2024 à 18:02:20 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Voici la première réponse... J'en ai une autre en attente !

ANSWER A: please, indicate possible mistakes and underline what you think is clumsy.

TOPIC 3: My favorite songs are all love songs.
Three songs among others stand out. If I have to write about just one, I choose " l'Hymne à l'amour".
This song, for which Edith Piaf herself wrote the lyrics in September 1949 and dedicated to Marcel Cerdan, the man of her life. This hit mentions the inability to overcome the loss of a lover: it became premonitory as Marcel Cerdan died the following month on his way to join her.
As he text deals with a subject that everyone can relate to, this poignant, moving romantic song has been translated into a multitude of languages. The world's most famous performers have put it on their repertoires.
It has become a French emblem, as it was recently chosen to open the Paris 2024 Olympic Games and still gives goose bumps.

for your help.

Réponse : Let's suggest: 67/ Let's have a break: 13 de magie8, postée le 02-08-2024 à 00:22:26 (S | E)
ANSWER A: SUGGESTIONS
HELLO
TOPIC 3:
My (FAVORITE(US) songs are all love songs.
Three songs among others stand out. If I have to write about just one, I(XXX choose " l'Hymne à l'amour". (JE pense que if appelle un conditionnel)
This song for which Edith Piaf wrote herself the lyrics in September 1949 and dedicated to Marcel Cerdan, WHO WAS the man of her life. This hit mentions the inability to overcome the loss of a lover: it became premonitory as Marcel Cerdan died the following month on his way to join her.
As HE text deals with a subject that everyone can relate to, this poignant, moving romantic song has been translated into a multitude of languages. The world's most famous performers have put it on their repertoires.
It has become a French emblem, as it was recently chosen to open the Paris 2024 Olympic Games and still gives goose bumps.

Réponse : Let's suggest: 67/ Let's have a break: 13 de gerold, postée le 02-08-2024 à 09:31:25 (S | E)
Hello!

Problème d'informatique chez moi aussi!

ANSWER A, topic 3:

La phrase “this song … the man of her life” est bancale, il faut changer au moins un mot.

Réponse : Let's suggest: 67/ Let's have a break: 13 de magie8, postée le 04-08-2024 à 02:10:56 (S | E)
ANSWER A: CORRECTION
HELLO DEARS THANK YOU GEROLD AND HERE4U
TOPIC 3:
My (FAVOURITE songs are all love songs.
Three songs among others stand out. If I have to write about just one, I (WILL choose " l'Hymne à l'amour".
Edith Piaf WROTE the lyrics HERSELF FOR THIS SONG in September 1949 and dedicated IT to Marcel Cerdan, WHO WAS the man of her life. This hit mentions the inability to overcome the loss of a lover: it became premonitory as Marcel Cerdan died the following month on his way to join her.
As ( THE text deals with a subject that everyone can relate to, this poignant, moving romantic song has been translated into a multitude of languages. The world's most famous performers have put it on their repertoires.
It has become a French emblem, as it was recently chosen to open the Paris 2024 Olympic Games and still gives goose bumps.

Réponse : Let's suggest: 67/ Let's have a break: 13 de here4u, postée le 04-08-2024 à 14:36:45 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Thanks a lot for your suggestions about ANSWER A:

Here are ANSWERS B: topic 2please indicate possible mistakes and underline what you consider is clumsy.
The warmth of the home symbolizes peace and harmony. Home is the place where people come together to find comfort away from daily stress. 24 words

Topic 3: My favorite song that touched me a lot was Elvis Presley's song ''Don't Cry Daddy''. Besides,every time I listened to it it gave me chills because I remember well the sacrifices my father made to ensure my well_being, working hard every day, he always placed my needs before his own. his unconditional love is a pillar on which I lean. Thanks to him, I grew up in security and achieved my dream. You know the sacrifices of a father for his children are like a fighter in a battle, he worked non-stop, always putting aside his own desires in order to guarantee a better future for his family, finding satisfaction in happiness and the success of his children. 123 words

Thanks for your help and appreciation. (blue till the 6th and green from the 7th.)

Réponse : Let's suggest: 67/ Let's have a break: 13 de gerold, postée le 04-08-2024 à 17:34:57 (S | E)
Hello!
ANSWER A
TOPIC 3:
My (FAVOURITE songs are all love songs.
Three songs among others stand out. If I have to write about just one, I (WILL choose "l'Hymne à l'amour".
Edith Piaf WROTE the lyrics HERSELF FOR THIS SONG in September 1949 and dedicated IT to Marcel Cerdan, WHO WAS the man of her life. This hit (evokes* the inability to overcome the loss of a lover: it became premonitory as Marcel Cerdan died the following month on his way to join her.
As ( THE text deals with a subject that everyone can relate to, this poignant, moving romantic song has been translated into a multitude of languages. The world's most famous performers have put it on their repertoires.
It has become a French emblem, as it was recently chosen to open the Paris 2024 Olympic Games and still gives goose bumps.

* Considering the definition of "mention" ("to speak about something quickly, giving little details or using few words" (Cambridge Dict.), "evoke" seems to be more suitable in this context.

Réponse : Let's suggest: 67/ Let's have a break: 13 de gerold, postée le 04-08-2024 à 17:46:40 (S | E)
Hello (again)!

Here are ANSWERS B: topic 2please indicate possible mistakes and underline what you consider is clumsy.

The warmth of the home symbolizes peace and harmony. Home is the place where people come together to find comfort away from daily stress. 24 words

Topic 3: My favorite song that touched me a lot was Elvis Presley's song ''Don't Cry Daddy''. Besides,every time I listened to it it gave me chills because I remember well the sacrifices my father made to ensure my well_being, working hard every day, he always placed my needs before his own. his unconditional love is a pillar on which I lean. Thanks to him, I grew up in security and achieved my dream. You know the sacrifices of a father for his children are like xx xx (I would add something) a fighter in a battle, he worked (inconsistency) non-stop, always putting aside his own desires in order to guarantee a better future for his family, finding satisfaction in xx happiness and the success of his children. 123 words

Réponse : Let's suggest: 67/ Let's have a break: 13 de happynutmeg13, postée le 05-08-2024 à 16:33:56 (S | E)
Hello!

Here are ANSWERS B: topic 2please indicate possible mistakes and underline what you consider is clumsy.

The warmth of the home symbolizes peace and harmony. Home is the place where people come together to find comfort away from daily stress. 24 words

Topic 3: My favorite song that touched me a lot was Elvis Presley's song ''Don't Cry Daddy''. Besides,xevery time I listened to itx(punctuation) it gave me chills because I remember well the sacrifices my father made to ensure my well_being,(I would change the punctuation) working hard every day, he always placed my needs before his own. his unconditional love is a pillar on which I lean. Thanks to him, I grew up in security and achieved my dream. You know the sacrifices of a father for his children are like xx xx (I would add something) a fighter in a battle, (I would change the punctuation, maybe that would suppress the inconsistency?) he worked (inconsistency) non-stop, always putting aside his own desires in order to guarantee a better future for his family, finding satisfaction in xx happiness and the success of his children. 123 words

Réponse : Let's suggest: 67/ Let's have a break: 13 de here4u, postée le 06-08-2024 à 10:26:42 (S | E)
Hello dears,

Green will be allowed tomorrow morning!

Réponse : Let's suggest: 67/ Let's have a break: 13 de happynutmeg13, postée le 07-08-2024 à 09:16:51 (S | E)
Hello!
Je me suis permis de compléter les corrections de Gerold

Here are ANSWERS B: topic 2please indicate possible mistakes and underline what you consider is clumsy.

The warmth of the home symbolizes peace and harmony. Home is the place where people come together to find comfort away from daily stress. 24 words

Topic 3: MyThe favorite song that touched me a lot was Elvis Presley's song ''Don't Cry Daddy''. Besides,every time I listened to it,(punctuation) it gave me chills because I remember well the sacrifices my father made to ensure my well-_being,;(I would change the punctuation) working hard every day, he always placed my needs before his owns. hHis unconditional love is a pillar on which I lean. Thanks to him, I grew up in security and achieved my dream. You know the sacrifices of a father for his children are like xx xxthose of (I would add something) a fighter in a battle,; (I would change the punctuation, maybe that would suppress the inconsistency?) he worked (inconsistency) non-stop, always putting aside his own desires in order to guarantee a better future for his family, finding satisfaction in xxthe happiness and the success of his children. 123 words

"My...that touched ME" me choque un peu mais peut-être qu'en anglais ce n'est pas gênant (en français "ma chanson qui me touche" est malvenu il me semble)

Réponse : Let's suggest: 67/ Let's have a break: 13 de gerold, postée le 07-08-2024 à 10:23:14 (S | E)
Hello!

Topic 3: (My The* favorite song that touched me a lot was Elvis Presley's song ''Don't Cry Daddy''. Besides, every time I listened to it,(punctuation) it gave me chills because I remember well the sacrifices my father made to ensure my well-being. (full stop)(I would change the punctuation) Working hard every day, he always placed my needs before his owns. His unconditional love is (was?) a pillar on which I lean (leant?) (refering to the writer's childhood). Thanks to him, I grew up in security and achieved my dream. You know the sacrifices of a father for his children are like those of a fighter** in a battle. (full stop he works (present: here, it is a general statement) non-stop, always putting aside his own desires in order to guarantee a better future for his family, finding satisfaction in the happiness and the success of his children. 123 words

"My...that touched ME" me choque un peu mais peut-être qu'en anglais ce n'est pas gênant (en français "ma chanson qui me touche" est malvenu il me semble) I agree
** Is it possible to use a possessive case here? (You know the sacrifices of a father for his children are like a fighter's in a battle")

Réponse : Let's suggest: 67/ Let's have a break: 13 de here4u, postée le 09-08-2024 à 09:47:49 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Thanks a lot for your suggestions.

ANSWER C: Topic 3 : What is your favourite song? Why? Please, indicate possible mistakes and underline what looks clumsy to you.

« People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening »
Do you remember?
« The sound of silence », written and performed by Simon and Garfunkel in the mid sixties; (Which doesn't make me any younger...) This was, and still is, my favourite song, and preferably the acoustic version, which is the one I heard first.
I don't know if young people know it by now... I was fifteen then, and I was immediately struck by the quiet melody and the singers' soft voices. Then I had to struggle to really understand the lyrics: at that time, with no Internet, I had to buy the record to be able to get them, written on the inner sleeve, with a dictionnary at hand to translate! Besides, this song awakened in me a real passion for the English language, which apparently was to last forever! 150 words

Thanks for your help!

Réponse : Let's suggest: 67/ Let's have a break: 13 de gerold, postée le 09-08-2024 à 16:16:31 (S | E)
Hello!

I can only see one (small) mistake:

« People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening »
Do you remember?
« The sound of silence », written and performed by Simon and Garfunkel in the mid sixties; (Which doesn't make me any younger...) This was, and still is, my favourite song, and preferably the acoustic version, which is the one I heard first.
I don't know if young people know it by now... I was fifteen then, and I was immediately struck by the quiet melody and the singers' soft voices. Then I had to struggle to really understand the lyrics: at that time, with no Internet, I had to buy the record to be able to get them, written on the inner sleeve, with a dictionnary at hand to translate! Besides, this song awakened in me a real passion for the English language, which apparently was to last forever!

Réponse : Let's suggest: 67/ Let's have a break: 13 de here4u, postée le 14-08-2024 à 10:22:24 (S | E)
Hello dears!

I'm lost in Time again... didn't know what day it was...

ANSWER A: TOPIC 3: initial text and my preliminary indications:

My favorite songs are all love songs.
Three songs among others stand out. If I have to write about just one, I choose(concordance des temps...) " l'Hymne à l'amour".

This song, for which Edith Piaf herself wrote the lyrics in September 1949 and dedicated to Marcel Cerdan, the man of her life. (phrase inachevée.)This hit mentions the inability to overcome the loss of a lover: it became premonitory as Marcel Cerdan died the following month on his way to join her.
As he text deals with a subject that everyone can relate to, this poignant, moving romantic song has been translated into a multitude of languages. The world's most famous performers have put it on their repertoires.
It has become a French emblem, as it was recently chosen to open the Paris 2024 Olympic Games. and still gives goose bumps.
TB Une phrase (la première) à la construction étrange.

ANSWER A:TOPIC 3: magie's indications

My (FAVORITE(US) songs are all love songs.
Three songs among others stand out. If I have to write about just one, I(XXX choose " l'Hymne à l'amour". (JE pense que if appelle un conditionnel) ? attention à la concordance des temps… a revoir
This song for which Edith Piaf wrote herself the lyrics in September 1949 and dedicated to Marcel Cerdan, WHO WAS the man of her life.(ici, j’ai besoin de la fin de phrase dont la principale est ‘this song’…) This hit mentions the inability to overcome the loss of a lover: it became premonitory as Marcel Cerdan died the following month on his way to join her.
As HE text deals with a subject that everyone can relate to, this poignant, moving romantic song has been translated into a multitude of languages. The world's most famous performers have put it on their repertoires.
It has become a French emblem, as it was recently chosen to open the Paris 2024 Olympic Games and still gives goose bumps.
Bonnes indications.
________________________________________
Réponse : Let's suggest: 67/ Let's have a break: 13 de gerold, postée le 02-08-2024 à 09:31:25 (S | E)
Hello!Problème d'informatique chez moi aussi!

ANSWER A, topic 3:gerold's remark:
La phrase “this song … the man of her life” est bancale, il faut changer au moins un mot.(changer plus d'un mot!)

ANSWER A: magie's CORRECTION : TOPIC 3:

My (FAVOURITE songs are all love songs.
Three songs among others stand out. If I have to write about just one, I (WILL choose B " l'Hymne à l'amour".
Edith Piaf WROTE the lyrics HERSELF FOR THIS SONG in September 1949 and dedicated IT to Marcel Cerdan, WHO WAS the man of her life. Bien corrigé ! C'est moins lourd, mais peut encore être amélioré...This hit mentions the inability to overcome the loss of a lover: it became premonitory as Marcel Cerdan died the following month on his way to join her.
As (THE text deals with a subject that everyone can relate to, this poignant, moving romantic song has been translated into a multitude of languages. The world's most famous performers have put it on their repertoires.
It has become a French emblem, as it was recently chosen to open the Paris 2024 Olympic Games and still gives goose bumps.
Bonne correction.

ANSWER A : TOPIC 3:gerold's corrections:

My (FAVOURITE songs are all love songs.
Three songs among others stand out. If I have to write about just one, I (WILL choose "l'Hymne à l'amour".
Edith Piaf WROTE the lyrics HERSELF FOR THIS SONG in September 1949 and dedicated IT to Marcel Cerdan, WHO WAS the man of her life. This hit (evokes* TB the inability to overcome the loss of a lover: it became premonitory as Marcel Cerdan died the following month on his way to join her.
As (THE text deals with a subject that everyone can relate to, this poignant, moving romantic song has been translated into a multitude of languages. The world's most famous performers have put it on their repertoires.
It has become a French emblem, as it was recently chosen to open the Paris 2024 Olympic Games and still gives goose bumps.
TB correction

* Considering the definition of "mention" ("to speak about something quickly, giving little details or using few words" (Cambridge Dict.), "evoke" seems to be more suitable in this context. Très bonne remarque.
- the love of my life/ the man/woman of my life
Un très bon travail ! Bravo à vous deux !

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Answers B:initial text and gerold’s indications.

The warmth of the home symbolizes peace and harmony. Home is the place where people come together to find comfort away from daily stress.24 words
TB
Topic N3
My favorite song that touched me a lot was Elvis Presley's song ''Don't Cry Daddy''. Besides,every time I listened to it it gave me chills because I remember well the sacrifices my father made to ensure my well_being,(punctuation ?) working hard every day, he always placed my needs before his own. his unconditional love is a pillar on which I lean.[Phrase beaucoup trop longue. Il faut ménager des pauses logiques. Attention aux choix des temps aussi ???]Thanks to him, I grew up in security and achieved my dream. You know the sacrifices of a father for his children are like XXXXX XX a fighter in a battle, he worked non-stop, always putting aside his own desires in order to guarantee a better future for his family, finding satisfaction in XXX happiness and the success of his children.123 words
Une bonne expression et de nonnes remarques du correcteur. (mais phrases beaucoup trop longues...)

ANSWERS B: topic 2: Gerold’s additional indications:

The warmth of the home symbolizes peace and harmony. Home is the place where people come together to find comfort away from daily stress. 24 wordsTB
Topic 3: My favorite song that touched me a lot was Elvis Presley's song ''Don't Cry Daddy''. Besides,every time I listened ? to it it gave ? me chills because I remember ? well the sacrifices my father made ? to ensure my well_being,[Stop !] working hard every day, he always placed my needs before his own. (his unconditional love is a pillar on which I lean. Thanks to him, I grew up in security and achieved my dream. You know the sacrifices of a father for his children are like xx xx (I would add something) a fighter in a battle, he worked (inconsistency(de temps ?)) non-stop, always putting aside his own desires in order to guarantee a better future for his family, finding satisfaction in xx happiness and the success of his children. 123 words
De très bonnes indications.

ANSWERS B: topic 2: happynutmeg’s indications:
The warmth of the home symbolizes peace and harmony. Home is the place where people come together to find comfort away from daily stress. 24 words
Topic 3: My favorite song that touched me a lot was Elvis Presley's song ''Don't Cry Daddy''. Besides,xevery time I listened to itx(punctuation) it gave me chills because I remember well the sacrifices my father made to ensure my well_being,(I would change the punctuation) working hard every day, he always placed my needs before his own. his unconditional love is a pillar on which I lean. Thanks to him, I grew up in security and achieved my dream. You know the sacrifices of a father for his children are like xx xx (I would add something) a fighter in a battle, (I would change the punctuation, maybe that would suppress the inconsistency?) he worked (inconsistency) non-stop, always putting aside his own desires in order to guarantee a better future for his family, finding satisfaction in xx happiness and the success of his children. 123 words
TB d’avoir déterminé ‘happiness’ et ‘success’ et d’avoir souligné la nécessité de revoir le ponctuation.

ANSWERS B: happynutmeg’s suggestions:

The warmth of the home symbolizes peace and harmony. Home is the place where people come together to find comfort away from daily stress. 24 words

Topic 3: MyThe favorite song that touched me a lot was Elvis Presley's song ''Don't Cry Daddy''. Besides,every time I listened to it,(punctuation) it gave me chills because I remember well the sacrifices my father made to ensure my well-_being,;(I would change the punctuation) working hard every day, he always placed my needs before his owns. hHis unconditional love is a pillar on which I lean. Thanks to him, I grew up in security and achieved my dream. You know the sacrifices of a father for his children are like xx xxthose of (I would add something) a fighter in a battle,; (I would change the punctuation, maybe that would suppress the inconsistency?) he worked (inconsistency) non-stop, always putting aside his own desires in order to guarantee a better future for his family, finding satisfaction in xxthe happiness and the success of his children. 123 words

"My...that touched ME" me choque un peu mais peut-être qu'en anglais ce n'est pas gênant (en français "ma chanson qui me touche" est malvenu il me semble) Oui, construction gênante en français et en anglais.

ANSWERS B: gerold's suggestions:

Topic 3: (My The* favorite song that touched me a lot was Elvis Presley's song ''Don't Cry Daddy''. Besides, every time I listened to it,(punctuation) it gave me chills because I remember well the sacrifices my father made to ensure my well-being. (full stop)(I would change the punctuation) Working hard every day, he always placed my needs before his owns. His unconditional love is (was?) a pillar on which I lean (leant?) (refering to the writer's childhood). Thanks to him, I grew up in security and achieved my dream. You know the sacrifices of a father for his children are like those of a fighter** in a battle. (full stop he works (present: here, it is a general statement) non-stop, always putting aside his own desires in order to guarantee a better future for his family, finding satisfaction in the happiness and the success of his children. 123 words TB corrections et remarques.

- "My...that touched ME" me choque un peu mais peut-être qu'en anglais ce n'est pas gênant (en français "ma chanson qui me touche" est malvenu il me semble) I agree. Ca gêna autanten anglais qu'en français.
- My favourite song était une reprise de la question : dans ce sens, le possessif se serait justifié. Cependant, avec le complément ‘me’ (touched me) il devenait franchement maladroit, alors que le déterminant s’imposait.
- Je suis tout à fait d’accord avec les changements de ponctuation qui s’imposaient eux-aussi. Idem pour les changements de temps.
- referring
- on which I leant/ which I leant on.
** Is it possible to use a possessive case here? (You know the sacrifices of a father for his children are like a fighter's in a battle") ! D’accord aussi avec : are like those of a fighter** in a battle. Le cas possessif serait moins clair, mais n’est pas ‘impossible’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ANSWER C:Topic 3: What is your favourite song? Why?

« People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening »
Do you remember?
« The sound of silence », written and performed by Simon and Garfunkel in the mid sixties; (Which doesn't make me any younger...) This was, and still is, my favourite song, and preferably the acoustic version, which is the one I heard first.
I don't know if young people know it by now... I was fifteen then, and I was immediately struck by the quiet melody and the singers' soft voices. Then I had to struggle to really understand the lyrics: at that time, with no Internet, I had to buy the record to be able to get them, written on the inner sleeve, with a (dictionnary at hand to translate! Besides, this song (awakened in me a real passion for the English language, which apparently was to last forever! 150 words TBonne expression.

Gerold only mentioned the spelling slip on the word 'dictionary'; I was troubled by one or two constructions of sentences... and by Americanisms (which I know are not mistakes but are still underlined in exams.)
I really don't like split infinitives: struggle to really understand the lyrics
Please notice this other one, which really hurts me:
Avoir [qch] sous la main loc v (avoir à disposition) (mainly UK) have [sth] to hand v expr
(mainly US)have [sth] at hand, have [sth] on hand v expr

Bonne utilisation de 'sleeve' pochette d'un disque.
sleeve n (protective covering for record) (d'album) : pochette nf
When the record finished playing, Tim took it off the deck and put it back in its sleeve.
Une fois le disque fini, Tim l'enleva de la platine et le remit dans sa pochette.

Ah oui, la séparation du verbe 'awakened' et de son COD 'a real passion' m'a un peu gênée. J'aurais mis 'awakened a real passion in me' qui me semble beaucoup plus naturel.

Un très très bon travail de votre part, écrivains et correcteurs. Comme "critique", de l'ensemble je retiendrais : se souvenir de ne pas faire de phrases trop longues. Les paragraphes existent. On ne mélange pas les temps...
Encore BRAVO et MERCI à vous.

Réponse : Let's suggest: 67/ Let's have a break: 13 de happynutmeg13, postée le 14-08-2024 à 17:58:54 (S | E)
Hello dear Here4U

Many thanks for your correction and for all your nice comments!

Réponse : Let's suggest: 67/ Let's have a break: 13 de magie8, postée le 14-08-2024 à 21:24:06 (S | E)
follow up
answer 1 favourite song
Hello dear hear 4u

1) Edith Piaf WROTE the lyrics HERSELF FOR THIS SONG in September 1949 and dedicated IT to Marcel Cerdan, WHO WAS the man of her life. Bien corrigé ! C'est moins lourd, mais peut encore être amélioré...

essai d'amelioration:
This song was written by Edith Piaf herself in September 1949 and dedicated to his lover Marcel Cerdan

2) Marcel Cerdan died the following month on his way to join her.

Essai
Marcel Cerdan died on his way to visit her /on his journey back to he

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