Let' s Suggest 69 /Let's have a break 15

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Let' s Suggest 69 /Let's have a break 15
Message de here4u posté le 28-08-2024 à 21:14:13 (S | E | F)
Hello dears,

Here is (again! ) an easy exercise that everyone can do.

Toujours en pause sur l’ exercice d’EXPRESSION Let's Suggest tel qu’il était à l'origine…
C'est à nouveau la " nouvelle formule ", surtout que les vacances se terminent, maintenant... La Rentrée est toute proche... Alors profitons de nos dernières heures... J'espère que vous aurez néanmoins le temps de nous écrire quelques lignes...

Certains m’avaient dit être gênés d’exprimer des idées personnelles (surtout qu’ils avaient l’impression – souvent fausse – de les exprimer maladroitement. ) Cependant, je ne vous demande pas de " raconter votre vie " si vous ne le désirez pas... Je souhaite juste vous voir vous exprimer sur tout sujet aussi " librement " que possible.
De plus, je pense que vous aurez maintenant compris que pour moi, toute expression, même maladroite, est intéressante et a de la valeur. Elle nous stimule tous à " trouver mieux " !

Voici les questions auxquelles vous pouvez répondre.

1. What is your advice to your kid, or grandchild before their first day of school?

2. Would you fancy a stay in a tree house?

3. What is your favourite dish? (to cook, or to eat... )

4. What is Adventure to You?

Vous pouvez choisir 1 ou 2 questions au choix – en notant bien les références - et développer celle(s) que vous voulez, jusqu’à atteindre en tout un maximum d’environ 150 mots.

Envoyez-moi vos réponses en mp et je publierai une première série que vous 'corrigerez' (en bleu d’abord pendant deux jours) puis en vert… et je publierai ensuite la deuxième série... (sans changements donc ! ) Vous gagnez de la liberté (celle de ne pas parler de plusieurs sujets, ceux qui ne vous " inspirent pas "... Vous écrivez la longueur que vous voulez, vous pouvez choisir d'inventer, de plaisanter, ou de répondre avec sérieux... Nous vous suivrons !

Cet exercice sera pour vous un ou en fonction de la qualité de vos écrits et des difficultés (surmontées) dans la prestation...

Cet exercice sera corrigé (j'espère !) le jeudi 12 septembre 2024 ! Go for it! with THE FORCE.

Réponse : Let' s Suggest 69 /Let's have a break 15 de here4u, postée le 31-08-2024 à 23:48:11 (S | E)
Hello dear writers and correctors!

ANSWER A: please, indicate possible mistakes and underline what you think is clumsy.

Topic 1: My little 3-year-old boy is about to start school. The important thing is to reassure him and make more attractive his new status.
That already means he's grown up, he's no longer a baby, he's able to express himself and clearly
explain what he wants and needs.
He will meet new children his own age, who will be in the same situation as him, and with whom he will be able to talk and play. He will have to take part in games without arguing with the others. He will be discovering new activities. He will also have to listen carefully to instructions and obey the teacher, who will be there to protect him, and explain to him what he doesn't know how to do.
At lunchtime his nanny will come to pick him up, and he'll get back into his routine with her.
School is for older children. It's a step up. And in the evening he'll have lots of stories to tell mum and dad.

for your help!

Réponse : Let' s Suggest 69 /Let's have a break 15 de here4u, postée le 04-09-2024 à 17:15:30 (S | E)
Hello dears!

No time? or no inspiration? Alright... Here are my indications for ANSWER A:

Topic 1: My little 3-year-old boy is about to start school. The important thing is to reassure him and make more attractive his new status.
That already means he's grown (up), he's no longer a baby, he's able to express himself and clearly explain what he wants and needs.
He will meet new children his own age, who will be in the same situation as him, and with whom he will be able to talk and play. He will have to take part in games without arguing with the others. He will be discovering new activities. He will also have to listen carefully to instructions and obey the teacher, who will be there to protect him, and explain to him what he doesn't know how to do.
At lunchtime his nanny will come to pick him up, and he'll get back into his routine with her.
School is for older children. It's a step up. And in the evening he'll have lots of stories to tell mum and dad.

Green allowed.

Réponse : Let' s Suggest 69 /Let's have a break 15 de gerold, postée le 05-09-2024 à 23:09:46 (S | E)
Hello!

ANSWER A:

Topic 1: My little 3-year-old boy is about to start school. The important thing is to reassure him and make ~~more attractive~~ his new status more attractive.
That already means he's grown (up), he's no longer a baby, he's able to express himself and clearly explain what he wants and needs.
He will meet new children his own age, who will be in the same situation as him/he will*, and with whom he will be able to talk and play. He will have to take part in games without arguing with the others. He will be discovering new activities. He will also have to listen carefully to instructions I don't know and obey the teacher, who will be there to protect him, and explain to him what he doesn't know how to do (simply what he doesn't know).
At lunchtime his nanny will come to pick him up, and he'll get back into his routine with her.
School is for older children. It's a step up. And in the evening he'll have lots of stories to tell mum and dad.

* I remember that, at the "lycée", we were told not to use object pronouns (me, him, her ...) in such a case (but it's a long time ago).

Réponse : Let' s Suggest 69 /Let's have a break 15 de here4u, postée le 06-09-2024 à 16:09:03 (S | E)
Hello dears,

ANSWERS B coming soon!

Réponse : Let' s Suggest 69 /Let's have a break 15 de here4u, postée le 08-09-2024 à 11:51:19 (S | E)
Hello dears!

ANSWERS B: please, indicate possible mistakes and underline what you'd say differently.

Topic 2. Would you fancy a stay in a tree house?
Definitely! I love the idea of being in nature, watching the stars in the sky at night, sleeping to the sound of the wind in the branches, and being awakened by birds singing. It would also make me feel like a kid again. I would enjoy pulling the rope through the pulley to receive my breakfast in the morning and coming down using a slide

TOPIC 4. What is Adventure to You?
To me, adventure is an unusual and exciting experience that takes someone out of their comfort zone, where uncertainty and sometimes fear are balanced by the thrill of discovering, experiencing, and pushing their own limits. Adventure is deeply personal. For some, it could be as simple as driving alone, visiting a foreign country for the first time, or starting a new career. Others might seek more risky adventures, such as skydiving or hiking in the jungle. Regardless of how adventurous someone is, the most important aspect is the resulting personal growth. 91 mots

for your help!

Réponse : Let' s Suggest 69 /Let's have a break 15 de here4u, postée le 10-09-2024 à 12:26:47 (S | E)
Hello dears,

Does your silence mean that this expression is perfect? If so, please, say it...

Réponse : Let' s Suggest 69 /Let's have a break 15 de gerold, postée le 10-09-2024 à 18:48:50 (S | E)
Hello here4u

I think these texts are very well written. I have some doubts, but I'm not sure.

ANSWERS B: please, indicate possible mistakes and underline what you'd say differently.

Topic 2. Would you fancy a stay in a tree house?
Definitely! I love the idea of being in nature, watching the stars in the sky at night, sleeping to the sound of the wind in the branches, and being awakened by birds singing. It would also make me feel like a kid again. I would enjoy pulling the rope through the pulley to receive my breakfast in the morning and coming down using a slide

TOPIC 4. What is Adventure to You?
To me, adventure is an unusual and exciting experience that takes someone out of their comfort zone, where uncertainty and sometimes fear are balanced by the thrill of discovering, experiencing, and pushing their own limits. Adventure is deeply personal. For some, it could be as simple as driving alone, visiting a foreign country for the first time, or starting a new career. Others might seek more risky adventures, such as skydiving or hiking in the jungle. Regardless of how adventurous someone is, the most important aspect is the resulting personal growth. 91 mots

Réponse : Let' s Suggest 69 /Let's have a break 15 de here4u, postée le 10-09-2024 à 20:24:13 (S | E)
Hello!

Green allowed!

Réponse : Let' s Suggest 69 /Let's have a break 15 de here4u, postée le 11-09-2024 à 14:47:41 (S | E)
Hello dears,

No green? Still a few more hours... I'll post ANSWER B tonight.

Réponse : Let' s Suggest 69 /Let's have a break 15 de happynutmeg13, postée le 11-09-2024 à 15:27:31 (S | E)
Hello!

Je me permets de proposer des solutions pour les propositions en bleu de Gerold (always difficult to step in after Gerold)

- awakened by birds singing: awakened by singing birds

- coming down using a slide: I cannot see the error, be it grammar or vocabulary

- out of their comfort zone, where : I think "where" refers to "comfort zone", and doesn't fit with the rest of the sentence, because " uncertainty and sometimes fear" wouldn't relate to "comfort zone"; so maybe I suggest: "out of their comfort zone, to a place of uncertainty and fear"

I will be very happy to see the right solutions

Réponse : Let' s Suggest 69 /Let's have a break 15 de gerold, postée le 11-09-2024 à 17:06:21 (S | E)
Hello!

Happynutmeg

- awakened by birds singing: awakened by singing birds
I think (but I'm not totally sure) that here "singing" can only be an adjective and therefore must come before the noun. (but: birds singing in the morning)
- coming down using a slide: I cannot see the error, be it grammar or vocabulary I would have said "going down", but the difference between go and come is not always very clear.
- out of their comfort zone, where : I think "where" refers to "comfort zone", and doesn't fit with the rest of the sentence, because " uncertainty and sometimes fear" wouldn't relate to "comfort zone"; so maybe I suggest: "out of their comfort zone, to a place of uncertainty and fear" I agree.

Réponse : Let' s Suggest 69 /Let's have a break 15 de here4u, postée le 11-09-2024 à 22:09:31 (S | E)
Hello dears,

As promised, here is ANSWER C: please, indicate possible mistakes and underline what looks clumsy to you...

Topic 5: What is Adventure to you?

The question gave me such a hard time ! Since the word is singular, I suppose it's not like « The Adventures of Huckelberry Finn », or those of Tom Sawyer? I gave it a lot of thinking and here is what I finally came to: Adventure is when you experience something totally unpredicted, and therefore you have to use all your energy and skills to cope with the situation; at first, you will be panic-stricken and totally desperate; but then your survival instinct will command you to invent new ways of acting, you will have to be really creative and leave your comfort zone,as we call it: if you get lost in a foreign city, with no phone or map, and, on top that, you can't speak the language, with a poor sense of direction like mine, it could be Adventure ? 149 words

for your help!

Réponse : Let' s Suggest 69 /Let's have a break 15 de happynutmeg13, postée le 12-09-2024 à 10:34:42 (S | E)
Hello dears,

As promised, here is ANSWER B: please, indicate possible mistakes and underline what looks clumsy to you...

Topic 5: What is Adventure to you?

The question gave me such a hard time ! Since the word is singular, I suppose it's not like « The Adventures of Huckelberry Finn », or those of Tom Sawyer? I gave it a lot of thinking and here is what I finally came to: Adventure is when you experience something totally unpredicted, and therefore you have to use all your energy and skills to cope with the situation; at first, you will be panic-stricken and totally desperate; but then your survival instinct will command you to invent new ways of acting, you will have to be really creative and leave your comfort zone,as we call it: if you get lost in a foreign city, with no phone or map, and, on top that, you can't speak the language, with a poor sense of direction like mine, it could be Adventure ? 149 words

Réponse : Let' s Suggest 69 /Let's have a break 15 de gerold, postée le 12-09-2024 à 18:49:41 (S | E)
Hello!

ANSWER B: please, indicate possible mistakes and underline what looks clumsy to you...

Topic 5: What is Adventure to you?

The question gave me such a hard time ! Since the word is singular, I suppose it's not like « The Adventures of Huckelberry Finn », or those of Tom Sawyer? I gave it a lot of thinking and here is what I finally came to: Adventure is when you experience something totally unpredicted, and therefore you have to use all your energy and skills to cope with the situation; at first, you will be panic-stricken and totally desperate; but then your survival instinct will command you to invent new ways of acting, you will have to be really creative and leave your comfort zone,as we call it: if you get lost in a foreign city, with no phone or map, and, on top xx that, you can't speak the language, with a poor sense of direction like mine, it could be Adventure ? 149 words

Réponse : Let' s Suggest 69 /Let's have a break 15 de here4u, postée le 13-09-2024 à 09:41:41 (S | E)
Hello !

Green allowed and corrections tonight, I hope…

Réponse : Let' s Suggest 69 /Let's have a break 15 de happynutmeg13, postée le 13-09-2024 à 12:20:33 (S | E)
Hello!
With the help of Gerold:
For answer B, I suggest:

- 1st sentence: no space before !"
- 2nd sentence: Huckleberry instead of Huckelberry; a full stop instead of a question mark (it isn't a question...)
- last sentence: on top xx that: on top of that
- "you can't speak the language, with a poor sense of direction like mine, it could be Adventure ?"
could be: "you can't speak the language and you have a poor sense of direction like mine, it could be Adventure...

Réponse : Let' s Suggest 69 /Let's have a break 15 de here4u, postée le 13-09-2024 à 15:15:01 (S | E)
Hello dears,

Sorry for the delay... You know, I often get lost in time just now...

Here are your indications and suggestions about the 3 texts!

ANSWER A : texte initial and my preliminary indications:

Topic 1: My little 3-year-old boy is about to start school. The important thing is to reassure him and make more attractive his new status.
That already means he's grown (up), he's no longer a baby, he's able to express himself and clearly explain what he wants and needs.
He will meet new children his own age, who will be in the same situation as him, and with whom he will be able to talk and play. He will have to take part in games without arguing with the others. He will be discovering new activities. He will also have to listen carefully to instructions and obey the teacher, who will be there to protect him, and explain to him what he doesn't know how to do.
At lunchtime his nanny will come to pick him up, and he'll get back into his routine with her.
School is for older children. It's a step up. And in the evening he'll have lots of stories to tell mum and dad.

Here are my indications for ANSWER A:

Topic 1: My little 3-year-old boy is about to start school.B The important thing is to reassure him and make more attractive his new status.
That already means he's grown (up), he's no longer a baby, he's able to express himself and clearly explain what he wants and needs.
He will meet new children his own age, who will be in the same situation as him, and with whom he will be able to talk and play. He will have to take part in games without arguing with the others. He will be discovering new activities. He will also have to listen carefully to instructions and obey the teacher, who will be there to protect him, and explain to him what he doesn't know how to do.
At lunchtime his nanny will come to pick him up, and he'll get back into his routine with her.
School is for older children(How old ?). It's a step up. And in the evening he'll have lots of stories to tell mum and dad. TB : But do you mean that nursery school is not school?

ANSWER A: gerold’s suggestions.

Topic 1: My little 3-year-old boy is about to start school. The important thing is to reassure him and make ~~more attractive~~ his new status more attractive.TB
That already means he's grown (up) ?, he's no longer a baby, he's able to express himself and clearly explain what he wants and needs.
He will meet new children his own age, who will be in the same situation as him/he will*,TB and with whom he will be able to talk and play. He will have to take part in games without arguing with the others. He will be discovering new activities. He will also have to listen carefully to instructions I don't know and obey the teacher, who will be there to protect him, and explain to him what he doesn't know how to do (simply what he doesn't know ).Hum… Je préfèrerais quelque chose d’encore plus simple…Any idea ?
At lunchtime his nanny will come to/ and pick him up, and he'll get back into his routine with her.
School is for older children( ?). It's a step up. And in the evening he'll have lots of stories to tell mum and dad.

* I remember that, at the "lycée", we were told not to use object pronouns (me, him, her ...) in such a case (but it's a long time ago). True in strict orthodoxy… but a strict usage of the doctrine is rare…
- école maternelle : (3 to 5) : nursery school/ preschool/ kindergarten
- make more attractive his new status : attention à l’ordre des mots. Verb suivi du COD + compléments. (surtout s’il est long…)
- to grow up : grandir pour devenir adulte. To grow, I grew, grown : grandir / a grown up : un adulte/ une grands personne/ les grands. Si l’on dit ‘you’re growing up’ à un enfant de 3 ans, c’est que l’on veut clairement mettre un effet (flatterie, admiration…)
- to listen to instructions carefully me plairait mieux, toujours parce que le verbe ne doit pas s’éloigner de son COD.
-‘ what he doesn't know how to do (simply what he doesn't know ) why not simpler ???
Cette expression était de bonne qualité et a bien été corrigée. Bravo et Merci !

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ANSWERS B: initial texts:

2. Would you fancy a stay in a tree house?
Definitely! I love the idea of being in nature, watching the stars in the sky at night, sleeping to the sound of the wind in the branches, and being awakened by birds singing. It would also make me feel like a kid again. I would enjoy pulling the rope through the pulley to receive my breakfast in the morning and coming down using a slide TTB

4. What is Adventure to You?
To me, adventure is an unusual and exciting experience that takes someone out of their comfort zone, where uncertainty and sometimes fear are balanced by the thrill of discovering, experiencing, and pushing their own limits. (phrase un peu longue…) Adventure is deeply personal. For some, it could be as simple as driving alone, visiting a foreign country for the first time, or starting a new career. Others might seek more risky adventures, such as skydiving or hiking in the jungle. Regardless of how adventurous someone is, the most important aspect is the resulting personal growth. 91 mots TTB
Très bonne expression. Peu de modifications à apporter.

ANSWERS B: Suggestions by gerold. I think these texts are very well written. I have some doubts, but I'm not sure.

Topic 2. Would you fancy a stay in a tree house?
Definitely! I love the idea of being in nature, watching the stars in the sky at night, sleeping to the sound of the wind in the branches, and being awakened by birds singing. It would also make me feel like a kid again. I would enjoy pulling the rope through the pulley to receive my breakfast in the morning and coming down using a slide

TOPIC 4. What is Adventure to You?
To me, adventure is an unusual and exciting experience that takes someone out of their comfort zone, where uncertainty and sometimes fear are balanced by the thrill of discovering, experiencing, and pushing their own limits. Adventure is deeply personal. For some, it could be as simple as driving alone, visiting a foreign country for the first time, or starting a new career. Others might seek more risky adventures, such as skydiving or hiking in the jungle. Regardless of how adventurous someone is, the most important aspect is the resulting personal growth. 91 mots

Suggestions by Happynutmeg : Je me permets de proposer des solutions pour les propositions en bleu de Gerold (always difficult to step in after Gerold )

- awakened by birds singing: awakened by singing birds OUI

- coming down using a slide: I cannot see the error, be it grammar or vocabulary YET, there is one.

- out of their comfort zone, where : I think "where" refers to "comfort zone", and doesn't fit with the rest of the sentence, because " uncertainty and sometimes fear" wouldn't relate to "comfort zone"; so maybe I suggest: "out of their comfort zone, to a place of uncertainty and fear" [Good suggestion ! ]

Gerold suggested

- awakened by birds singing: awakened by singing birds OUI
I think (but I'm not totally sure) that here "singing" can only be an adjective and therefore must come before the noun. (but: birds singing in the morning) OK
- coming down using a slide: I cannot see the error, be it grammar or vocabulary I would have said "going down", but the difference between go and come is not always very clear.[YES, IT IS! GRRRrrr! ]
- out of their comfort zone, where: I think "where" refers to "comfort zone", and doesn't fit with the rest of the sentence, because " uncertainty and sometimes fear" wouldn't relate to "comfort zone"; so maybe I suggest: "out of their comfort zone, to a place of uncertainty and fear" I agree. So do I !
- difference between ‘come’ and ‘go’ : Lien internet
Hope it will make things clearer…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ANSWER C: Topic 5: What is Adventure to you?

The question gave me such a hard time ! Since the word is singular, I suppose it's not like « The Adventures of (Huckelberry Finn », or those of Tom Sawyer? I gave it a lot of thinking and here is what I finally came to: Adventure is when you experience something totally unpredicted, and therefore you have to use all your energy and skills to cope with the situation; at first, you will be panic-stricken and totally desperate; but then your survival instinct will command you to invent new ways of acting, you will have to be really creative and leave your comfort zone,as we call it: if you get lost in a foreign city, with no phone or map, and, on top that, you can't speak the language, with a poor sense of direction like mine, it could be Adventure ? 149 words

As promised, here is ANSWER C: Topic 5: What is Adventure to you? Happynutmeg’s indications :

The question gave me such a hard time ! Since the word is singular, I suppose it's not like « The Adventures of Huckelberry Finn », or those of Tom Sawyer? I gave it a lot of thinking and here is what I finally came to: Adventure is when you experience something totally unpredicted, and therefore you have to use all your energy and skills to cope with the situation; at first, you will be panic-stricken TB and totally desperate; but then your survival instinct will command you to invent new ways of acting, you will have to be really creative and leave your comfort zone,as we call it: if you get lost in a foreign city, with no phone or map, and, on top that, you can't speak the language, with a poor sense of direction like mine, it could be Adventure ? 149 words
OK ! Good indications !

ANSWER C : gerold’s suggestions.
Topic 5: What is Adventure to you?

The question gave me such a hard time Since the word is singular, I suppose it's not like « The Adventures of Huckelberry Finn », or those of Tom Sawyer? I gave it a lot of thinking and here is what I finally came to: Adventure is when you experience something totally unpredicted, and therefore you have to use all your energy and skills to cope with the situation; at first, you will be panic-stricken and totally desperate; but then your survival instinct will command you to invent new ways of acting, you will have to be really creative and leave your comfort zone,as we call it: if you get lost in a foreign city, with no phone or map, and, on top xx that, you can't speak the language, with a poor sense of direction like mine, it could be Adventure ? 149 words

For answer C : With the help of Gerold, Happynutmeg suggested :
- 1st sentence: no space before !"
- 2nd sentence: Huckleberry instead of Huckelberry; a full stop instead of a question mark (it isn't a question...)
- last sentence: on top xx that: on top of that
- "you can't speak the language, with a poor sense of direction like mine, it could be Adventure ?"
could be: "you can't speak the language and you have a poor sense of direction like mine, it could be Adventure...
Survival instinct/ self preservation.
Très bien corrigé ! - ce ‘unpredicted’ me gêne quand même : … unexpected ? plutôt unpredictable ?. Je ferais une nouvelle phrase après ce mot… ‘Therefore, …..’

Vous avez toujours la possibilité de nous proposer des phrases nouvellement rédigées, ou simplement corrigées, en un ‘Follow up Work’ qui vous donnerait pleinement satisfaction. Bravo aux rédacteurs et aux correcteurs. Vous avez tous bien joué le jeu... C'est difficile car vos essais ont maintenant peu d'erreurs !

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