Correction/lettre motivation
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Message de asurion posté le 19-10-2015 à 14:11:47 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai un stage à faire en avril dans un pays anglophone.
J'aimerais avoir votre avis sur les différentes fautes, etc.
Merci d'avance.
Object : Application for an Internship
October 12, 2015
Dear Sir Fxxx,
I am a second-year Computer Science student at xxx Unisersity (I.U.T). I am currently looking for an Internship starting 4 April until 17 June 2016, for a 10-week period or more.
Having acquired, as part of my studies, a good mastery of computer languages such as C or Java, I can quickly put my skills and knowledges to good use.
For a few years, I have wished to go to an English speaking Country as part of my professional curriculum and he current partnership between your enterprise and our university offers the ideal opportunity to realize this project. The possibility to discover Thailand, a very different foreign country is the perfect opportunity to live this experiment and to complete a personal challenge.
Your projects, such as ID-ETC and ABI-Advertising are really interesting, soi would really like to work on such projects.
I am looking forward to hearing from you soon, and hope you will take my application into consideration.
Your faithfully,
Name Surname
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Modifié par lucile83 le 19-10-2015 15:10
Message de asurion posté le 19-10-2015 à 14:11:47 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai un stage à faire en avril dans un pays anglophone.
J'aimerais avoir votre avis sur les différentes fautes, etc.
Merci d'avance.
Object : Application for an Internship
October 12, 2015
Dear Sir Fxxx,
I am a second-year Computer Science student at xxx Unisersity (I.U.T). I am currently looking for an Internship starting 4 April until 17 June 2016, for a 10-week period or more.
Having acquired, as part of my studies, a good mastery of computer languages such as C or Java, I can quickly put my skills and knowledges to good use.
For a few years, I have wished to go to an English speaking Country as part of my professional curriculum and he current partnership between your enterprise and our university offers the ideal opportunity to realize this project. The possibility to discover Thailand, a very different foreign country is the perfect opportunity to live this experiment and to complete a personal challenge.
Your projects, such as ID-ETC and ABI-Advertising are really interesting, soi would really like to work on such projects.
I am looking forward to hearing from you soon, and hope you will take my application into consideration.
Your faithfully,
Name Surname
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 19-10-2015 15:10
Réponse: Correction/lettre motivation de fanfan, postée le 19-10-2015 à 16:45:49 (S | E)
Hello .
Votre lettre me parait très bien . Voici quelques détails que vous pourriez corriger .
" Knowleges" sans le S ; "He current partnership " ( remplacer He par the . )"soi would really like to ..." remplacer soi par so I .
Good luck to you .
Réponse: Correction/lettre motivation de asurion, postée le 19-10-2015 à 16:57:50 (S | E)
Merci, je n'avais pas vu les fautes
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Modifié par lucile83 le 19-10-2015 20:16
Réponse: Correction/lettre motivation de here4u, postée le 19-10-2015 à 20:42:14 (S | E)
hello !
here are a few things to correct :
- Dear Sir Fxxx, pas suivi du nom.
- October 12, 2015 ; 4 April until 17 June 2016=> essayer d'être cohérent dans le traitement des dates (et de leur emplacement!)
- knowledges= no plural.
- he current partnership = typo, I suppose (the)
- soi would really like = another typo => so I would ...
- ''a very different foreign country' m'a un peu gênée ... different from France and Europe ? A tourner différemment!
Bon courage !
Réponse: Correction/lettre motivation de asurion, postée le 19-10-2015 à 21:52:51 (S | E)
Merci
"Dear Sir Fxxx, pas suivi du nom" --> C'est a dire ? J'ai pas trop compris.
"'a very different foreign country' m'a un peu gênée" --> C'est pour la thailand, c'est pour ca
Sinon merci, je vais revoir ca.
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