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LS61/let's have a break 8

Cours gratuits > Forum > Exercices du forum || En bas

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LS61/let's have a break 8
Message de here4u posté le 29-04-2024 à 16:12:21 (S | E | F)
Hello dears,

This is an easy exercise that everyone can do.

Toujours en pause sur l’ exercice d’EXPRESSION Let's Suggest tel qu’il était…
C'est à nouveau la " nouvelle formule ", surtout que les vacances reviennent... JE SAIS, JE CROIS que vous pouvez être beaucoup plus nombreux à essayer d'aider tout le monde par vos travaux et vos corrections.

Certains m’ont dit être gênés d’exprimer des idées personnelles (surtout qu’ils avaient l’impression – souvent fausse – de les exprimer maladroitement.) Cependant, je ne vous demande pas de " raconter votre vie " si vous ne le désirez pas... Je souhaite juste vous voir vous exprimer sur tout sujet aussi " librement " que possible.
De plus, je pense que vous aurez maintenant compris que pour moi, toute expression, même maladroite, est intéressante et a de la valeur. Elle nous stimule tous à " trouver mieux " !

Voici les questions auxquelles vous devrez répondre en utilisant un comparatif par réponse. (court ou long - supériorité, égalité ou infériorité au choix !

1. What season do you prefer?

2. Tell a short dream (or nightmare!)

3. Do you prefer movies or the theatre?

4. Do you believe in Astrology?


Vous pouvez choisir 1 ou 2 questions au choix – en notant bien les références - et développer celle(s) que vous voulez jusqu’à atteindre en tout un maximum d’environ 130-150 mots.

Envoyez-moi vos réponses en mp et je publierai une série que vous 'corrigerez' (en bleu d’abord pendant deux jours) puis en vert… et je publierai ensuite la deuxième série... (sans changements donc ! ) Vous gagnez de la liberté (celle de ne pas parler d'un ou plusieurs sujets, ceux qui ne vous " inspirent pas "... Vous écrivez la longueur que vous voulez, vous pouvez choisir d'inventer, de plaisanter, ou de répondre avec sérieux... Nous vous suivrons !

Cet exercice sera pour vous un ou en fonction de la qualité de vos écrits et des difficultés (surmontées) dans la prestation...
Cet exercice sera corrigé le samedi 11 mai 2024 ! Go for it! with THE FORCE.



Réponse : LS61/let's have a break 8 de here4u, postée le 29-04-2024 à 23:43:26 (S | E)
Hello dears,

Voici déjà notre première ANSWER A: sent by a very fast writer!

This is my text, for topic 1 "What season do you prefer"? please, indicate possible mistakes and underline what you think is clumsy.

The season I prefer is autumn; firstly because of the wonderful colours gradually coming up: each tree has its own : poplars, for instance, turn very yellow, as well as willows; we see the most various shades of red and orange among the vineyards; planes become brown and gold, and so do the big oaks, their leaves being the last to lose their green hue; nothing is MORE BEAUTIFUL than the subtle mingling of all these nuances. Another reason is that with autumn, comes the end of the scorching heat of summer; sometimes, in the morning, there is dew on the grass again, shadows are longer and cooler, and we can at last enjoy the LESS FIERCE warmth of the sun. Everything seems to calm down, there is a softness in the air, and it is time to make the most of it before the bleaker days of winter." 149 words

for your help and appreciation...



Réponse : LS61/let's have a break 8 de here4u, postée le 02-05-2024 à 00:48:04 (S | E)
Hello!

Green allowed.
I agree with you... This expression is almost perfect. I would just change one or two little things...
Let's see if you agree with me...



Réponse : LS61/let's have a break 8 de gerold, postée le 02-05-2024 à 20:58:14 (S | E)
Hello

ANSWER A: topic 1 "What season do you prefer"?

The season I prefer is autumn; firstly because of the wonderful colours gradually coming up: each tree has its own : poplars, for instance, turn very yellow, as well as willows; we see the most various shades of red and orange among the vineyards; planes become brown and gold, and so do the big oaks, their leaves being the last to lose their green hue; nothing is MORE BEAUTIFUL than the subtle mingling of all these nuances. Another reason is that with autumn, comes the end of the scorching heat of summer; sometimes, in the morning, there is dew on the grass again, shadows are longer and cooler, and we can at last enjoy the LESS FIERCE warmth heat (I wouldn't use these two words together because "fierce" evokes something rather unpleasant (when speaking of the weather), contrary to "warmth") of the sun. Everything seems to calm down, there is a (no indefinite article because "softness" is (usually) uncountable) softness in the air, and it is time to make the most of it before the bleaker days of winter." 149 words



Réponse : LS61/let's have a break 8 de here4u, postée le 04-05-2024 à 18:34:39 (S | E)
Hello dears!

for your help, Gerold!

Here is ANSWER N°2: please, indicate possible mistakes and underline what looks clumsy to you!

The text above is very poetic and it is true that autumn is a wonderful season because of the colours of nature who are changing and are so rich.
But my favourite season is spring because it announces a new birth of plants and trees. The temperatures are again chilly in the morning, but may
reach pleasant values when we can smell and feel new beginnings. We may drop coats and winter jackets, take strolls in parks where we can see
coloured flowers like primroses, daffodils, snowdrops, bluebells… The days starting to be longer, and the naked trees start to be covering with little leaves and buds. In spring, every body have new energy and taste for actions. We don’t want to stay indoor and fell like stroll in parks if the weather allows it. But it’s perhaps necessary to take an umbrella. About 150 words.

for your help!



Réponse : LS61/let's have a break 8 de happynutmeg13, postée le 05-05-2024 à 18:59:34 (S | E)
Hello !
This text is vividly expressing the feelings we have in spring ! We understand the author likes nature.
Here are my suggestions :

The text above is very poetic and it is true that autumn is a wonderful season because of the colours of nature who are changing and are so rich.
But my favourite season is spring because it announces a new birth of plants and trees. The temperatures are again chilly in the morning, but may reach pleasant values when we can smell and feel new beginnings. We may drop coats and winter jackets, take strolls in parks where we can see coloured flowers like primroses, daffodils, snowdrops, bluebells… The days xxx starting to be longer, and the naked trees start to be covering with little leaves and buds. In spring, every body have new energy and taste for actions. We don’t want to stay indoor and fell like stroll in parks if the weather allows it. But it’s perhaps necessary to take an umbrella. About 150 words.



Réponse : LS61/let's have a break 8 de gerold, postée le 07-05-2024 à 15:31:54 (S | E)
Hello

Answer n° 2

I agree with happynutmeg13. Some more mistakes:

The text above is very poetic and it is true that autumn is a wonderful season because of the colours of nature who are changing and are so rich.
But my favourite season is spring because it announces a new birth of plants and trees. The temperatures are again chilly in the morning, but may reach pleasant values when we can smell and feel new beginnings. We may drop coats and winter jackets, take strolls in parks where we can see coloured flowers like primroses, daffodils, snowdrops, bluebells… The days xxx starting to be longer, and the naked trees start to be covering with little leaves and buds. In spring, every body have new energy and taste for actions. We don’t want to stay indoor and fell like stroll in parks if the weather allows it. But it’s perhaps necessary to take an umbrella. About 150 words.



Réponse : LS61/let's have a break 8 de here4u, postée le 07-05-2024 à 18:54:16 (S | E)
Hello dears,

Green allowed.



Réponse : LS61/let's have a break 8 de happynutmeg13, postée le 08-05-2024 à 09:18:52 (S | E)
Hello !

With the help of Gerold : I don't know if he will be ok with my corrections...

The text above is very poetic and it is true that autumn is a wonderful season because of the colours of nature who are changing and are so rich.
But my favourite season is spring because it announces a new birth of plants and trees. The temperatures are again chillychilly again in the morning, but may reach pleasant values when as we can smell and feel new beginnings. We may drop coats and winter jackets, take strolls in parks where we can see coloured flowers like primroses, daffodils, snowdrops, bluebells… The days xxx are starting to be longer, and the naked trees start to be covering to cover with little leaves and buds. In spring, every body everybody have has new energy and taste for actions. We don’t want to stay indoor indoors and fell feel like stroll strolling in parks if the weather allows it. But it’s perhaps necessary to take an umbrella. About 150 words.



Réponse : LS61/let's have a break 8 de gerold, postée le 08-05-2024 à 11:48:51 (S | E)
Hello!

The text above is very poetic and it is true that autumn is a wonderful season because of the colours of nature who are changing and are so rich.
But my favourite season is spring because it announces a new birth of plants and trees. The temperatures are again chilly still chilly* in the morning, but may reach pleasant values when as we can smell and feel new beginnings I am not sure I understand this sentence. We may drop coats and winter jackets, take strolls in parks where we can see coloured flowers like primroses, daffodils, snowdrops, bluebells… The days xxx are starting to be longer, and the naked trees start to be covering to be covered with little leaves and buds. In spring, every body everybody have has new energy and taste for actions. We don’t want to stay indoor indoors and fell feel like stroll strolling (or a stroll, strolls) in parks if the weather allows it. But it’s perhaps necessary to take an umbrella. About 150 words.

* I think that "again" ( = à nouveau) would imply that the end of winter was milder than the beginning of spring, which may be true this year, but not generally.



Réponse : LS61/let's have a break 8 de happynutmeg13, postée le 09-05-2024 à 10:54:49 (S | E)
Hello!

The text above is very poetic and it is true that autumn is a wonderful season because of the colours of nature who are changing and are so rich.
But my favourite season is spring because it announces a new birth of plants and trees. The temperatures are again chilly still chilly* in the morning, but may reach pleasant values when as we can smell and feel new beginnings I am not sure I understand this sentence. We may drop coats and winter jackets, take strolls in parks where we can see coloured flowers like primroses, daffodils, snowdrops, bluebells… The days xxx are starting to be longer, and the naked trees start to be covering to be covered with little leaves and buds. In spring, every body everybody have has new energy and taste for actions. We don’t want to stay indoor indoors and fell feel like stroll strolling (or a stroll, strolls) in parks if the weather allows it. But it’s perhaps necessary to take an umbrella. About 150 words.

* I think that "again" ( = à nouveau) would imply that the end of winter was milder than the beginning of spring, which may be true this year, but not generally.





Réponse : LS61/let's have a break 8 de gerold, postée le 10-05-2024 à 11:31:26 (S | E)
Hello!

The text above is very poetic and it is true that autumn is a wonderful season because of the colours of nature who, which are changing and are so rich...



Réponse : LS61/let's have a break 8 de here4u, postée le 10-05-2024 à 16:39:26 (S | E)
Hello!

pour ce 'which' [ le 'who', m'avait vraiment fait souffrir ! ]



Réponse : LS61/let's have a break 8 de here4u, postée le 11-05-2024 à 23:12:56 (S | E)
Hello dears,

Voici la récapitulation des indications d'erreurs que vous avez faites ainsi que les suggestions de modifications. Je vous en remercie et vous félicite de vos trouvailles.

ANSWER A: Topic 1 "What season do you prefer"? Initial text and my preliminary indications.

The season I prefer is autumn; firstly because of the wonderful colours gradually coming up: each tree has its own : poplars, for instance, turn very yellow, as well as willows; we see the most various shades of red and orange among the vineyards; planes become brown and gold, and so do (the) big oaks, their leaves being the last to lose their green hue; nothing is MORE BEAUTIFUL than the subtle mingling of all these nuances. Another reason is that with autumn, comes the end of the scorching heat of summer; sometimes, in the morning, there is dew on the grass (again, shadows are longer and cooler, and we can at last enjoy the LESS FIERCE warmth of the sun. Everything seems to calm down, there is a softness in the air, and it is time to make the most of it before the bleaker days of winter." 149 words TTB

ANSWER A: topic 1 "What season do you prefer"? gerold’s indications.

The season I prefer is autumn; firstly because of the wonderful colours gradually coming up: each tree has its own : poplars, for instance, turn very yellow, as well as willows; we see the most various shades of red and orange among the vineyards; planes become brown and gold, and so do (the) big oaks(1), their leaves being the last to lose their green hue; nothing is MORE BEAUTIFUL than the subtle mingling of all these nuances. Another reason is that with autumn, comes the end of the scorching heat (2) of summer; sometimes, in the morning, there is dew on the grass (again,(3) shadows are longer and cooler, and we can at last enjoy the LESS FIERCE warmth heat (I wouldn't use these two words together because "fierce" evokes something rather unpleasantBonne remarque ! (when speaking of the weather), contrary to "warmth") of the sun. Everything seems to calm down, there is a (no indefinite article because "softness" is (usually) uncountable) softness in the air, and it is time to make the most of it before the bleaker days of winter." 149 words
TBonnes remarques.

(1) Pourquoi déterminer les chênes ? et pas les peupliers, les platanes… Ils sont sur le même plan.
(2) L’inversion du sujet, qui n’a pas les mêmes indications en anglais ne s’impose pas, ici.
(3) La position de ‘again’ « passe »… Je ne l’aurais pas placé là, et je crois même que j’aurais utilisé une autre construction.
(4) Idem ici, j’aurais tourné le segment de phrase autrement. Je trouve « less fierce » très lourd, maladroit et improbable [penser à un comparatif, dans ce cas… du genre ‘milder’]

C’était un très bon texte et merci pour les suggestions.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ANSWER B: initial text and my preliminary indications.

The text above is very poetic and it is true that autumn is a wonderful season, because of the colours of nature (who are changing and are so rich.
But my favourite season is spring because it announces a new birth of plants and trees. The temperatures are ( , (again chilly in the morning, but may reach pleasant values (when we can smell and feel new beginnings. We may drop coats and winter jackets, take strolls in parks where we can see coloured flowers like primroses, daffodils, snowdrops, bluebells…B (pour le vocabulaire et pour le pluriel général) The days xxx starting to be longer, and the naked trees start to be (covering with little leaves and buds. In spring, (every body (have new energy and X taste for actions. We don’t want to stay indo(or and (fell like (stroll in parks if the weather (allows it. But (it’s perhaps necessary to take an umbrella. About 150 words.
Not bad ! Quelques maladresses. Tendance à faire de phrases trop longues. Bien se relire. (nature who )

Remark by happynutmeg: this text is vividly expressing the feelings we have in spring ! We understand the author likes nature.

ANSWER B: Happynutmeg’s suggestions:

The text above is very poetic and it is true that autumn is a wonderful season because of the colours of nature (who are changing and are so rich.
But my favourite season is spring because it announces a new birth of plants and trees. The temperatures are (again chilly in the morning, but may reach pleasant values when we can smell and feel new beginnings. We may drop coats and winter jackets, take strolls in parks where we can see coloured flowers like primroses, daffodils, snowdrops, bluebells… The days (xxx starting to be longer, and the naked trees start to be (covering with little leaves and buds. In spring, (every body (have new energy and X taste for actions. We don’t want to stay (indoor and (fell like (stroll in parks if the weather (allows it. But it’s perhaps necessary to take an umbrella. About 150 words.
Merci pour toutes ces indications d’erreurs

Answer n° 2: gerold says: I agree with happynutmeg13. Some more mistakes:

The text above is very poetic and it is true that autumn is a wonderful season because of the colours of nature (who are changing and are so rich.
But my favourite season is spring because it announces a new birth of plants and trees. The temperatures are again chilly in the morning, but may reach pleasant values (when we can smell and feel new beginnings. We may drop coats and winter jackets, take strolls in parks where we can see coloured flowers like primroses, daffodils, snowdrops, bluebells… The (days xxx starting to be longer, and the naked trees start to be (covering with little leaves and buds. In spring, every body have new energy and taste for actions. We don’t want to stay indoor and fell like stroll in parks if the weather allows it. But it’s perhaps necessary to take an umbrella. About 150 words.
Merci de ces bonnes indications.

ANSWER B: Happynutmeg’s suggestions: she wrote: ‘with the help of Gerold: I don't know if he will be ok with my corrections...’

The text above is very poetic and it is true that autumn is a wonderful season because of the colours of nature (who are changing and are so rich.
But my favourite season is spring because it announces a new birth of plants and trees. The temperatures are again chillychilly again in the morning, but may reach pleasant values when as we can smell and feel new beginnings. We may drop coats and winter jackets, take strolls in parks where we can see coloured flowers like primroses, daffodils, snowdrops, bluebells… The days xxx are starting to be longer, and the naked trees start to be covering to cover with little leaves and buds. In spring, every body everybody have has new energy and X taste for actions. We don’t want to stay indoor indoors and fell feel like stroll strolling in parks if the weather allows it. But it’s perhaps necessary to take an umbrella. About 150 words.
Bonnes suggestions. Merci !

ANSWER B: Gerold's suggestions

The text above is very poetic and it is true that autumn is a wonderful season because of the colours of nature who are changing and are so rich.
But my favourite season is spring because it announces a new birth of plants and trees. The temperatures are still chilly* in the morning, but may reach pleasant values as we can smell and feel new beginnings I am not sure I understand this sentence. We may drop coats and winter jackets, take strolls in parks where we can see coloured flowers like primroses, daffodils, snowdrops, bluebells… The days xxx are starting to be longer, and the naked trees start to be covered with little leaves and buds. In spring, everybody has new energy and taste for actions. We don’t want to stay indoors and fell feel like strolling (or a stroll, strolls) in parks if the weather allows it. But it’s perhaps necessary to take an umbrella. About 150 words.

* I think that "again" ( = à nouveau) would imply that the end of winter was milder than the beginning of spring, which may be true this year, but not generally.

ANSWER B: suggestions by happynutmeg13

The text above is very poetic and it is true that autumn is a wonderful season because of the colours of nature who which (Bien corrigé par gerold ensuite! )are changing and are so rich.
But my favourite season is spring because it announces a new birth of plants and trees. The temperatures are still chilly* in the morning, but may reach pleasant values as we can smell and feel new beginnings I am not sure I understand this sentence. We may drop coats and winter jackets, take strolls in parks where we can see coloured flowers like primroses, daffodils, snowdrops, bluebells… The days xxx are starting B to be longer, and the naked trees start to be covered OK with little leaves and buds. In spring, everybodyhas new energy and X taste for actions. We don’t want to stay indoors and feel like strolling (or a stroll, strolls) in/ through/ about/ parks if the weather allows it. But it’s perhaps necessary to take* an umbrella. About 150 words.

* I think that "again" ( = à nouveau) would imply that the end of winter was milder than the beginning of spring, which may be true this year, but not generally.

* ‘the temperatures are again chilly’ : il est sûr que ‘again’ est mal placé. Cependant, je pense comme happynutmeg que la bonne solution, la plus logique est ‘still chilly’, because the weather was very chilly at the end of winter.
* confusion entre feel, felt felt et fall, fell, fallen.
- if (the) weather allows it : ne me plait pas trop… Ne pas perdre de vue l’idée de permission contenue dans le verbe ‘allow’. If weather permits if/ is permitting.
* Lorsque c'est possible, toujours privilégier l'usage d'un modal (plutôt que les expressions impersonnelles du genre : it's necessary that/ it is impossible that...)


Un grand à vous et de vos suggestions.

Edit: j'ai oublié de spécifier que vos Follow up Work suggestions sont les bienvenues, si vous le souhaitez ... C'est TOUJOURS le cas !




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